man of the house

My mother and I have developed a bit of an unorthodox relationship. The oddness of the situation is in the nature of it, which has caused me to entitle myself the man of the house.

There are 4 generations of women living together.

we have been living under the same roof for nearly 5 years.

My mother and I have a strange relationship that has manifested into something quite different.

We're just repeating the cycle.

Like my mother before me
and her mother before her

Simply put, we argue; not like mother and daughter but more like an old married couple. I associate most of the tension to the fact that I'm the more liberal one of us. Both of us would rather the other cook. Plus, I get flack because I rarely help with the dishes. My mother does the bulk of the grocery shopping but hates doing it and I’ve yet to figure out a solution for this. I, at times, am asked to pick up something from the store on my way home from work.

Being that I work, it impedes my time with my daughter thus my mother has a hand in raising her. While she would rather keep her grandma status, she often complains about my parenting skills and time management. I am expected to enforce rules, teach her manners and establish a routine. Moreover, I have been saddled with the role of disciplinary. Kind of what I was raised to believe was the role of the father.

Don’t rule out the male variable in the household.

My father’s line of work causes him to be out of town more times than not. I have come to believe his frequent absence and lack of diligence has attributed to the occurrence of my mother doing everything around the house and home. I am merely enabling her with things she can not accomplish on her own.

To get things in perspective, my mother is petite in stature;
I am at about 5'3" and a bit broader in size than her.

Whenever there is some task that requires strength, endurance, height or in general a "man's" touch, my mother asks me to do it or possibly help her accomplish it. Many of the tasks she asks me to do or “help” with I attribute to the type of things you would normally ask a man to do i.e. my father.

To name a few things I’ve done. I have:

Hell, I even hang the lights each year.

• opened tight jars,
• reached for what is out of reach,
• lifted and hauled heavy objects,
• moved several types of furniture,
• uprooted weeds and over turned earth,
• arranged and removed brick paths,
• helped corral farm animals. 

My mother wonders why I have a bit of a complex.

Being mistaken for my brother
doesn't help my self image either

I chalk it up to vanity. Being I’m the taller or the two, I have been asked to place or reach for an array of things for various reasons. Albeit, I have grown accustomed to doing a lot of the heavy lifting around the house to include my daughter. I dread hearing my mother asking: Will/can you help me with something? Because, it usually entails moving something heavy or cumbersome. And as time has passed, the jars are now just placed in front of me to open; I actually find this gesture amusing.