missed out on Mardi Gras (Fat Tuesday) |
It seems to me every time a religious holiday comes up I consider whether I should observe the holiday or just acknowledge it?? I tend to observe the rituals and not allow for real religious connotation. Yet, I find it constraining, contradicting and all together frustrating.
My mother (who I have now dubbed the NaySayer) pointed out that I really have no obligation to this religious observance of Ash Wednesday. Granted I hadn't received ashes for several years now; I did observe the ideals behind Lent, predominantly the fasting. She further, pointed out that this should not affect me, being that I no longer “practice" Catholicism. True, I feel I am no longer bound to the rituals or rights of a catholic, adding, that I have no real interest or faith for that matter in any Christian based religions. Still, I questioned myself to a point of sever doubt and contemplation. Had I been brainwashed for so long my unconscious mind still feared the retribution of turning my back on Jesus or God for that matter?
Remember that thou art dust,
and to dust thou shalt return.
Genesis 3:19
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Over the years, whilst studying and soul searching, I’ve found where several of the Christian holidays overlap with that of its pagan counterpart. And my brother, the Realist, reiterated how cultures affected religions over time. Alas, Ash Wednesday didn’t actually have a pagan tie. Yet, it is strategically mapped out leading up to Easter all which coincides with the Spring Equinox, Pass Over and has something to do with the full moon, sort of.
As I searched, I come to find out Lent is a time of repentance and self-denial. Obviously, I wasn’t wrong to feel this was a time of sacrifice and penance. So, combined with the New Moon, I claimed that this Lent I would deny myself many of my indulgences in hopes to better myself.